where do i begin?

I dont really know what i am trying to accomplish with starting this blog, maybe i am trying to purge myself of my demons....maybe i am trying to remember the things i have supressed for so many years...maybe im just trying to let go and let myself become a better person finally....it is going to have to be all three if i want to get any where in this short life we live....i have come so far already and i know that....but there is something eating away at my body, mind and sould and i cant figure out what it is.....maybe just maybe this will help...
I just want to appologize for the way i will be writing this, i will be writing straight from the heart and mind...no real punctuation just thoughts, memories, feelings...not correct grammer, or sometimes even spelling...just raw feelings...
I also want to appologize for any hurt feelings or hatefull feelings toward me for the things i say, this is my life on paper(more or less) take it or leave it......welcome to my mayhem......