i don't want to be that person any more, the person who dwells on their regrets to the point where i hate the world for it.... i don't even want to think about all the things that i regret... not saying good bye or even hello! not saying I'm sorry when i knew i was wrong, or not standing up for myself when i knew i was right...
I regret all of the things that i have done to people over the years, all the bridges that i burned...while i was still clinging to the side...i was trying to be happy, the life of the party, smiles all the time, while inside i was just hurting my self more and more....then it started to show on the outside...and man do i regret that...just because i have to live with my regrets doesnt mean i have to dwell on them.
god...im always so down on myself...i dont really feel i deserve to be happy, i dont deserve this beautiful child, or my am zing husband....i dont deserve good feelings....everytime i start to feel good about anything something wont let me... maybe it is my mind fighting my heart....all i know is i have to do something before i bring me down....i smile on the out side...but my mind is mayhem.....
Those who feel they dont deserve good things are usually those who deserve them the most. People who have good things and think the deserve more do not usually deserve what they have in the first place.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I have found in my journey is that regret in itself is a waste of time. Of course there are so many things in my life that I could have, or should have, done differently. We all do. But regret is a very negative emotion and i've found it to be a waste of time.
I now try to look at a situation and analyze what what was done right and what was done wrong, come up with different approaches for the future, and let it go.
The memories still hang around and nag at you sometimes. But you'll get to a point where you can look back and say "Yup. That sucked. Good thing I've got a handle on it now."
At the end of the day, even the things you would have done differently are the things that made you who you are today. It's hard to not feel the regret, but there's a flip side to every coin and sometimes I think it's a daily reminder of that.
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